One Last Smoke

I was working on a scene where love had gone south, but it is the male character who is sad. Sadness is a strong emotion and I couldn't let the scene go with only the words: "She left him without a note or a goodbye". I want the reader to feel his shock, his pain, his hurt. This poem was written over a couple of days and I switched the characters around and it is the man who has walked away. This is not close to what I wrote in my WIP. It is a poem. It is shortened and, therefore, each word counts. 

© One Last Smoke

Standing in this river outside your hotel

Wondering where you are since you told me farewell;

I’ve been wishing on a star, hanging onto Jack Daniels—

He’s soothing my broken heart, stroking the shrapnel.

God’s sitting on his mountain having one last smoke,

Satan’s here beside me laughing at some joke.

I…I wish I could look into your eyes,

Know everything will be the way it should;

If you looked at me without turning away,

You…you would see tears welling in my eyes

While I make promises to God that I will be good

If He’ll just bring you back and have you stay.

And Hell’s not heaven, and I’m dying of heatstroke;

Satan’s still laughing so it must be a good joke.

Before I throw out the empty and tear up your clothes,

I’m leaving these photos…I’m not the one you chose.

Will you remember us and getting sick on avocados

Will you remember me and all my goofy fiascos?

I never told you but you’re the love of my life;

I only wish I’d never laughed when you wanted me for your wife—

I wish I hadn’t laughed and caused you such strife;

I wish I hadn’t laughed and let my words run rife.

God’s sitting on his mountain having one last smoke,

Satan’s here beside me laughing at some joke.

I…I wish I could look into your eyes,

Know everything will be the way it should;

If you looked at me without turning away,

You…you would see tears welling in my eyes

While I make promises to God that I will be good

If He’ll just bring you back and have you stay.

And Hell’s not heaven, and I’m dying of heatstroke;

Satan’s still laughing so it must be a good joke.

Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved

(Painting: DarkWaters by Julio Reyes)

© I’m Sorry You Walked Away

When You Lose Love:

MYTH: The pain of losing love will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your sadness (or grief) and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. Letting your true feelings show can help you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

It’s nearly two in the morning.

Come take advantage of me.

I’m on my third cup of coffee

After chugging a bottle of wine.

I already threw the empty at

The email I was writing to you

To show you I was drunk... and vulnerable.

Don’t you want it?

You used to want it.

You used to want me.

I’m sorry it took me too long to realize it.

I’m sorry I will never send that email.

I’m sorry I’m willing to degrade myself

Just to get you

To come back,

To touch me,

To tease me,

To stay here — with me.

Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved

(the photo is not mine. It is the property of the owner)

Mimi-Mona Poetry: Next Time...

©Next Time

look into the mirror to see my soul

and the sad lines on my face...

on the paper in front of me.

Paper's blank, page is empty;

there are no petals to crush

between my palms to wash them away.

Only your sunny smile embraces me—

I am reluctant to leave

this time.

by Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved