WHAT IF the campaign for President of the USA was told to people as a campaign for the HEAD of Coffee?
WHAT IF one of the candidates used terror to frighten people and get their vote? Surely they would see through this person's sarcasm and know the prejudice and terror he preaches is real.
Can We See That No One Person Is Better?
Non-English speaking people like me. In fact, I’m good friends with many of them. Many. They all tell me they are my friend.
Well, it was coffee seller & me, a probable new patron.
And a worker. The worker just offered me samples. He didn’t speak. I don’t know; maybe he couldn’t speak or maybe he wasn’t allowed to speak to prospective buyers. You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a handsome, young man with a cute butt waiting on you.
Well, I’m saying there should be many systems “beyond databases” to get Tea Drinkers registered by using “good management.” You know what I said to that reporter who asked me, “Is there a difference between requiring Tea Drinkers to register and Crews in Blaze Harmony?” I could only respond, “You tell me.” Am I right? Yes, I am. Everyone says so. I heard everyone says so. Or, I read it in places, many, many places.
When I saw that WOLSKE COFFEE sign, I asked for a sample. I drank the whole thing, with “mmm” and “ahhh” sound effects and eye rolls. It's true. I don't like some other coffee drinkers we won't talk about. That’s because all other coffees are bad. They’re liars. They don’t tell the truth about where it comes from. That’s the truth.
I'll never lie to you.
I own Wolske Coffee now... We make lots of money. Lots of money. And, it’s the best coffee in the world. And, I’m going to make sure we get rid of all Tea Drinker Terrorists…These terrorists don’t like coffee drinkers. They hate us. Everybody says it. They hate all of us. They want to kill every single one of us. Well, I am your voice, your defender, your protector and I promise we will get rid of every single Tea Drinking Terrorist and no Tea Drinkers will be allowed to immigrate here.
Everybody says it, but I have a judge who is a hater of Wolske Coffee, a hater. He’s a hater. His name is Gonzo Cruel. I think Coffee Judge Cruel should be ashamed of himself. I think it’s a disgrace that he’s doing this. The judge, who happens to be, we believe, AntiCoffeeism… I think the AntiCoffeeism are going to end up loving Wolske Coffee.
Ales? Yeah, I heard about the charges. He’s such a great guy. Dodger is — I mean, what he’s done for coffee, is in the history of coffee, he’s gotta be placed in the top three, or four, or five. And that includes the founding of the major coffee brokers. So, it’s too bad. I’m sure it was friendly. I can tell you that some of the people that are complaining, I know how much he’s helped them. And even recently. And when they write books that are fairly recently released, and they say wonderful things about him. And now all of a sudden they’re saying these horrible things about him. I've just hired him to be one of the heads of my campaign.
I know about money. Now I know about coffee and Wolske Coffee is the best.
My competition has somebody — did you ever hear of Geronimo? He said he was an Veegun Native American. We have these surrogates, people like him — failures, total failures. Goofy Geronimo has done less than any Tea Drinking Representative. He’s worthless. Everyone says it. Worthless. They’re all worthless. We’re going to get rid of all of them. It’s going to be a totally Coffee Drinking representation. Thank you. Thank you.
I know. I read what they said. That I had Muchacho do exercises that including him balancing a weighted ball with his feet while wearing speedos and in front of dozens of media. Well, to that, I will plead guilty. But, he weighed 145 pounds and then he went up to 230 or 250 pounds, so this is somebody who likes lots of sugar in his coffee to make it taste like Wolske Coffee.
There's no room for other brands and I promise I will ban all other brands of coffee from entering the US.
And, and…my opponent is playing the man card. If he were a woman, I don’t think he’d get five percent of the coffee traffic I do. He wants tea drinkers to live with us coffee drinkers. Well, I’m successful in this business arena. I’ve made millions…and millions. And the beautiful thing is that men don’t like him, Okay? Everyone tells me that. And look how well I do with men. They want me to debate him. But, I won’t. ‘Hell-ooo! Good Wolske to Ghoad Kegyn Mello: You’re a lightweight “tea” totaler’. You could see there was tea coming out of his eyes, tea coming out of his wherever. He’s biased against me. You saw it; right? He says he can, well, “schlong” me in a tea-coffee battle. How Crude! How Vulgar! Like I’d ever let him get near me. Like he could possibly get near me. He’s just vulgar, folks. Vulgar.
Non-coffee drinkers, let’s say, who buy Raisin tea, will not be tolerated. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, Raisin in a tea-trade deal? They kill us. Raisin negotiators; when these people walk into the room, they don’t say, ‘Oh hello, how’s the weather? It’s so beautiful outside. How are the Yankees doing? They’re doing wonderful, that’s great. They say, ‘We want tea deal!’ I beat Raisin Countries all the time. All the time. Thank you.
I promise you this. I’m building a wall to keep all the murdering and raping Teaists out. We’re going to build “a great big wall” along the U.S.-Teago border to prevent further illegal immigration. And who’s going to pay for it? Teago! Right. Right. Teago is going to pay for that wall. And here’s another thing I’m going to do. I promise there will be a mass deportation of undocumented tea guzzlers and I’m calling it the “Operation Teabag” program. Sadly, the overwhelming amount of violent crime in our major cities is committed by black tea guzzlers and coochy-coos who come from across that border – a tough subject – must be discussed.
Recently, at one of my Wolske Coffee rallies, I was telling the coffee drinkers how black tea guzzlers kill more people of all other drinkers. Everyone says so. Or, I read it in many places, many, many places. In fact, black tea guzzlers killed 81 percent of coffee drinking homicide victims in 2015, when this black-tea-drinking-lives-are-important protester began disrupting me by shouting that slogan. To keep order, I had to tell my security to “get him the hell out of her, will you, please? Get him out of here!”
I want your vote even if you DON'T drink coffee. You see, I don’t show favoritism. No. That’s bad. Bad. But, I promise you, I’m going to
MAKE COFFEE GREAT AGAIN!
Thank you. Thank you.
lol -- I was being sarcastic. That's all. Everybody knows it. They're all laughing. But, some people don't understand sarcasm.
I Believe United We Stand,
Divided We Fall.