Sunday, March 2, 2014

MUSINGS: The Forgotten Pages Of the Personal Journal

IN A CACHE OF UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM THE PRIVATE AND PERSONAL JOURNAL OF LUST AND LOVE, THIS ENTRY BEARS WITNESS TO A PASSIONATE PLEA TO HER LOVER DATED NOVEMBER 2012


Dearest XXX,

What right do they have to question whether you and I went to San Diego together? Why would you tell those women "no"? What right does any woman have to ask whether you stayed with me at my house? Why would you tell them "no"? Why do you tell them I am too young for you? These cause me continuous consternation and confusion and surely make those women think I am some sort of stalker...or, have they been told that as well?

How utopian (I think I chose the right word...idealistic?), how obtuse, how detached from reality are those women, or woman, is anyone not to expect me to be resentful?

I think these questions answer themselves.

I am desirous for them to leave me alone. I wonder why they/why she can't see that the onus of any blame rests with the perpetrator of continuous antagonism and slander, i.e., themselves/herself...that only a fatuous, inane person would place moral responsibility on anyone other than themselves...or on her if it is just one person.

Please, please, stop telling me I am jealous. I am not. Not one woman of your friends who causes problems has done anything, not a single thing, that would impress me enough to be jealous. I have never been jealous of a female or a male.

If you dare discuss me with these women/this woman, please stop. Is it fair to me to stand accused of an emotion I do not feel but never allowed to stand before my accuser and have her accuse me to my face? She won't allow it because she knows she lies and hopes to instigate problems. When you listen and converse on that level, she believes she is winning her battle...or has won when you concur.

Don't even say it...I know. I have said to you repeatedly when you bring her up that that particular "bunny" attacked me on my page and when my friends began condemning and questioning her reasons, she unfriended me and blocked me. And the Irish woman who said something to the effect she wanted you and the other men to line up so she could examine your cocks?  LOL When I commented, "I can't believe you said that"...that was NOT AN ATTACK...no matter how much she cried on your and the two other guys' shoulders, it was NOT AN ATTACK. One was defense and the other a teasing question. So, there you are...their reasons just don't hold up to any rationale but their attacks on me continue. Isn't it just common sense to say, "I don't want to discuss Mxxx"? to them/to her?

I have never been paranoid. I've never had reason to be. I don't have a suspicious bone or an iota of mistrust. But, when you continue to tell me what they say to you about me and to each other about me, I admit I'm sort of taken aback and after I laugh a little, I do wonder why they continue to discuss me. Am I that important?

I'm admittedly crazy...I don't hide me weirdness; I never have. I have always been a happy person and loved my life and my family and people.

BUT...those women/that woman is TOXIC!

Wish I had the courage to mail this to you ... I really want to send this to you. I won't. Just writing it makes me feel a little better...until you tell me something else.

You know what I wish? I want to go back to Hxxxxxxy Lake again this coming May. In fact, we should ask for a standing reservation for every May. We both loved that place and there was such peace and such good loving in that cute little cabin. Yes, I think I will suggest we return to the same cabin.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Page from the Private Journal of....
©November 2012
All Rights Reserved

The letter was sent and his response was:

I'll call you tonight. 

This is for you, it always was, from the start and yes, I used it for my other id on facebook.

Played this on the tube this morning and thought about you and me

Boys Don't Cry — I Wanna Be A Cowboy
Riding on the range,
I've got my hat - on,
I've got my boots - dusty.

I've got my saddle
On my horse.
He's called....T-t-t-t-t-trigger
Of course.

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

(woman's voice)
Riding on the chuck wagon,
Following my man.
His name is Ted,
Can you believe that?
Camping on the prairie
Plays havoc with my hair.
Makes me feel quite dirty,
Though we all do sometimes

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

Looking like a hero,
Six-gun at my side,
Chewing my tobacco.
Out on the horizon,
I see a puff of smoke.
Indians on the warpath,
(Indian voice) White man speak-em with forked tongue.
Or not.
I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl
I wanna be a cowboy

Of course I replied: I love it when you do thing like this

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