"Some guys have all the luck, some guys have all the pain, some guys get all the breaks, some guys do nothing but complain." Rod Stewart
They've gotten the chicks, the success, the respect, and the other fringe benefits that come with social and sexual power, for millions of years. But why? Why do other men figuratively, and literally, bow to these strong characters? Why do women swoon over them with interest that can only be described as sexual veneration?
In the context of this conversation, where males' dominant characteristics will be compared to other males' not-so-dominant characteristics, "alpha man" is a misnomer. "Alpha man" is only correctly used when it refers to a man who reigns over ALL of his kingdom—women, children, animals, the television remote—in a tyrannical manner not unlike that of Adolph Hitler or Archie Bunker.
The proper term for the male who holds major assets in the sexual, social, and food stores of his community, only when compared to other males, is "alpha male."
An Alpha Male is huge turn-on for women. Women are drawn by his confidence or his swagger, his energy, and how he appeals to their desire for pleasure. He’s cool and laid-back and with him women travel to a place where time means nothing. They are free from responsibility with this guy and get lost in mental and sensual stimulation.
Ø He freely touches others in the group, without expressed or implied permission
Ø He might intimidate by staring, or he could simply use the unnerving tactic to demand attention
Ø He's never uncomfortable with eye contact, and will never break it first
Ø He'll unapologetically interrupt conversations or monologues
Ø He'll utilize the pregnant pause, stopping in the middle of sentences, phrases, even words, because he enjoys it when others allegorically hang on his every word
Ø When anyone in the group makes a significant statement, everyone in the group will look to the alpha male for his response
Ø He'll do most everything slowly and with deliberation. If the doorbell rings, he might finish his drink before answering it. If the phone rings, the voicemail might beat him to the caller. If someone calls his name, he'll finish his sentence and his sandwich before responding. If the building's burning, he won't stop, drop, and roll—he'll put out his cigarette, run a comb through his hair, lie down, and then consider rolling casually from the collapsing building. This forces those around him to move on his schedule—a demonstration of situation (and people) control.
Ø He holds the conversation's figurative remote control: despite others' attempts to change the channel, he'll flex his power to make them think that what he wants to talk about is what they want to talk about
Ø When walking in a group of men, the alpha male will generally go first. Without a hint of metaphor, he takes the lead
Ø If the waitress forgot to put in half of the order, and the alpha male receives his dinner before the rest of the group, he'll have no qualms about eating in front of his famished friends, and will continue to dominate conversation as he does so
Ø He'll attempt to sit or stand the tallest
Ø By inflating his chest, widening his shoulders, putting his hands on his hips, and/or spreading his feet apart when standing, he's attempting to appear larger—to take up more room than a bull elephant in musk
Ø When sitting, he might put his feet on a desk, place his hands behind his head, spread his legs…again, to appear larger and take more than his allotted portion of air space
Ø He will have no doubts about holding his chin high, exposing his neck. This evolutionary hold-over behavior says, "I'm not afraid of any of you. Look, here's my exposed jugular to prove it."
Ø He'll show no sign of nervousness—no high-chest breathing, no fidgeting, no jumping like Richard Simmons on caffeine
Ø He'll ask questions of his cohorts, as if every meeting was a reenactment of the Spanish Inquisition. Most conversations will be one-sided, with his mind being the inquiring one. He'll disclose very little about himself.
Ø In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, he might be a close talker. This is a show of territorial rights. He's taking his piece of the floor out of someone else's…just because he can.
You never know what he’s going to do next and that excites most women, surprises many, and makes them feel like they’re living close to the edge right along with him.
His sex appeal is born of his masculinity mixed with an emotionality that leads the female to wonder if he is inside of your head. He notices the things about a woman that makes her special and his sensitivity and ability to notice those details, in turn, makes him special to them.
All females, other than the Alpha Female, are flattered by the push/pull conversation he gives and the fact that he says what’s on his mind without regret. He makes women wonder if they’re up for the challenge.
They begin to doubt if they can handle him… yet his way with words soothes their minds and leads him to the romantic seduction of their entire body.
Even women, other than the Alpha Female, who are in a relationship with another and who encounter an Alpha Male can’t help but think about the Alpha… sometimes to the detriment of your relationship. Yep, might as well call in a relationship doctor because the appearance of an Alpha Male in their life is enough to make their current relationship flat-line.
They begin to desire Mr. Alpha and consciously or unconsciously compare their man to him. Dominance, confidence, sex appeal, pleasure, and self-respect are the scales females use as they mentally pit one man against the other. The Alpha Male is the one who fuels their passion and makes them want to have sex with him. Immediately. :-)
He can be tall or short. Thin, fat, physically fit. Dreadlocks, crew cut, tight fade, bald head (Mmmm)... He might have deep green eyes, ocean blue eyes, chocolate brown eyes, or piercing black eyes.
How does this happen? Well, Pheromones. They're largely undetectable, but powerful, olfactory triggers that aid in mate selection. You've likely heard of them before…but did you know that the alpha male's pheromones are not only more potent than the average man's, but that they hold the power to turn the lesser women into alpha pheromone addicts?
Additionally, androstadienone, another pheromone excreted by human males, triggers cortisol release in women. This cortisol causes women to overcome psychological concerns surrounding a potential sexual partner, experience a sense of euphoria, and to shed inhibition.
So, you might ask, how do these two male pheromones connect to the alpha male? I'm glad you asked. You see, both of these pheromones are derivatives of testosterone. We all know by now that true alpha males have higher levels of testosterone than that average male. Therefore, more of these female euphoria-inducing chemicals will be excreted from an alpha male.
At long last…a credible biological answer to Rod Stewart's lament.
Okay…let’s talk body language. The Alpha Male’s is unmistakable.
Ø comfortable in his own skin
Ø able to invade our personal space in a nonthreatening way
Ø charming and personally magnetic
Ø able to move and speak without insecurity
These characteristics and behaviors are what make ladies go ga-ga over a dude. Because of them, women listen to this person more… they respect him…he’s absolutely irresistible.
Alpha Male qualities are desirable to us women and for that, he is a dangerous breed. He casts a powerful and intoxicating spell over us. Many books, articles and magazines are dedicated to becoming an Alpha Male. The reason is easy: Alpha Males know how to talk to women. They attract the girls!
However, one type of woman can attract the Alpha Male and hold his attention. That one woman recognizes him for what he is, the influence he yields, the power he commands, why he is so sexually appealing.
That one woman is the Alpha Female. The Alpha Male is attracted to other women, but it’s short lived. When he finds an Alpha Female, like most men, he will work to claim her as well.
Men write poetry and songs about, for her, and to her. They’re the females who always get the guy, the success, the respect, and all those other fringe benefits that come with social and sexual power, and it’s been going on as long as her male counterpart…i.e., for millions of years. Why? Why do other women hate her? Why do the guys ogle and drool over them with sexual interest?
The Alpha Female is everything that the Alpha Male is…she just does it with a feminine flair. And, the Alpha Woman is Everything the Alpha Man is.
And there just aren’t too many Alpha Women…in fact, they are extremely rare, just as the Alpha Man is.
And while most men are concerned with finding a woman/many women (you know, because that’s what men like to do), the Alpha Female is concerned with ALL of her relationships.
She is bathed in the comfort of close friends and when away from the crowds, she loves her solitude because it nourishes her.
She displays the attractive female behaviors and she’s damn good at being true to herself!
The Alpha Female is confident (fearless women rock!) and she asserts herself. She doesn’t need to dress in risqué clothing or appear nude to attract men; her sexual allure is innate and that’s what attracts the men to her. She’s an original and not afraid to be who she is…she likes herself and that confidence is alluring.
She is not worried about whether or not she comes off as a “bitch”. And whenever she does come off as bitchy, her charm covers the indiscretion.
She has hot sexuality (femininity mixed with strength) and cool conversation. She’s smart and she respects herself, meaning that she loves who she is and takes care of her needs first…she isn’t needy—and that’s a highly desirable trait. The Alpha Female is a force to be reckoned with… she gets what she wants, when SHE wants it.
She is a huge turn-on for men and they all desire her, but women with low self-esteem hate her and will insult her behind her back, call her names behind her back, deviously make a comment that every female recognizes as catty but which males are totally clueless…but, seldom will the lesser female confront the Alpha Female with their complaints.
• She freely touches others in the group, without expressed or implied permission
• She might intimidate by staring or simply use the unnerving tactic to demand attention
• She's never uncomfortable with eye contact and will never back down when someone chooses to lock eye contact with her
• She has a true sense of justice, of what’s right and what’s wrong and she follows it. Not only does she follow it, she expects, sometimes demands, others to follow it as well
• She'll utilize the pregnant pause, stopping in the middle of sentences, phrases, even words, because she enjoys it when others allegorically hang on her every word
• She’s full of new and interesting and fun ideas and isn’t afraid to lead others who are so happy to have someone lead them in something new, they willingly follow. Anyone unwilling to follow is never missed if they choose to go another direction because the Alpha Female has so many followers, she’s never alone.
• When anyone in the group makes a significant statement, everyone in the group will look to the Alpha Female for her response
• Like the Alpha Male, the Alpha Female will do most everything slowly and with deliberation. If the doorbell rings, she makes the caller wait before answering it. If the phone rings, the voicemail will typically beat her to the caller. If someone calls her name, she'll finish her sentence before responding to the person she considers intruding. If everyone’s rushing about, she'll run a comb through her hair and check her makeup before she’ll consider going forward with a purpose. This forces those around her to wonder but they move on her schedule—a demonstration of situation (and people) control.
• When she’s interested, she holds the conversation's figurative remote control: despite others' attempts to change the channel, she'll flex her power to make them think that what she wants to talk about is what they want to talk about—most often employing reverse psychology
• When walking in a group, the Alpha Female generally leads…whether she’s in front of females or males, or both. Without a hint of metaphor, she takes the lead
• Again, like her male counterpart, she’ll have no doubts about holding her head high, exposing her neck, saying silently, "I'm not afraid of any of you. Look, here's my exposed jugular to prove it."
• She’ll never show any signs of nervousness—she has everything in control and she’s confident
• She'll disclose very little about herself but she’ll question others to learn everything about them.
The Alpha Female’s a decision-maker who is committed to her goals and dreams. She may be opinionated and unafraid to speak her mind, but she’s on top of her game. She’s obstinate, sometimes conceited, and doesn’t always make it easy for people who are not Alpha.
She gives men a run for their money and makes them work overtime on her, so to speak. But all this only makes her MORE appealing to men. She is, in other words, the quintessential “Alpha Female.” She has an uncanny ability to make men desire her. The Alpha Female’s talents are special, and consequently, satisfying her might be a man’s biggest challenge yet.
She won’t hang onto any male, Alpha or otherwise, when he begins neglecting her. She doesn’t have to…there are too many other men and Alpha Males just waiting for the opportunity to be selected by her and she knows it. In her mind, if she isn’t the Alpha Female for the Alpha Male she selected, then he’s weak and is cast off. She’ll remain friends with him, but there will be no female/male attraction by her.
The Alpha Female is a self-assured, self-reliant high achiever and is, typically, physically attractive.
She doesn’t mess around. Often she’s a business owners and/or hold multiple degrees. This doesn’t mean she’s an uncompassionate ice queens a la Grace Jones in Boomerang. Ironically, an Alpha Female is completely opposite. She knows how to balance it all with a Coke and a smile. Then again, she tends to be physically fit, so we may have to nix that Coke for a Dasani water.
The Alpha Female rises to success and is a maverick, a hybrid, and she often denies that she’s like other women. She is today’s Renaissance Woman! Women do not like the Alpha Female very much, nor do they want to be like her. Beta and Gamma women want to be liked, which holds them back. The Alpha Female is often terribly misunderstood by Beta, Gamma, and lesser females and males, as evident by posts about Alpha Females that call her a bitch, a cunt, or a whore—the Alpha Female prefers passion over romance…although, if it's romance coming from an Alpha Male, a hootttttt one, that's another story...
When it comes to the selecting a long-term to lifetime mate, the Alpha Female is highly selective. Potential mates must have the ability to hold intellectually stimulating conversations and, generally, be equally yoked with said woman. Potential mates must present an intellectual challenge if they expect to hold an Alpha Female’s interest for any length of time. She should not be able to eat him alive in a conversation about current events. These men also need to be equally self-assured and self-reliant.
The Alpha Female has a great ability to make men chase her and she tends to have no shortage of men vying for their attention, many of which will seem like “the one” because they are so nice, so sweet, and will do any and everything under the sun for their woman. They also let their women do whatever they want, no questions asked. Enter the Beta Man. No, no, no, no-oo…A Beta Man (also called a Gamma Man) does everything right but he just can’t hold her attention, no matter what he does. Again, an Alpha Female requires a challenge. Beta Men give often “too” much of their time, money, and emotions. They are easily walked over and typically end up placed in the aforementioned “dreaded friend zone.” Many men, mostly the Omegas, will make remarks that she is too much trouble and they can have three women to her one. That’s why they’re still at the bottom of the dominance chain. Often, Alpha Females will hear from friends, “you don’t like nice guys.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. Alpha Females, like most women, love nice guys. In fact, an Alpha Female will not waste time with a disrespectful or mean-spirited man.
MALES AND FEMALES
To be Alpha, whether female or male, one has to:
Ø Develop or boost self-confidence
Ø Learn how to use his or her personal power
Ø Revel in their femininity or masculinity, and have a hint of the opposite traits
Ø Pursue pleasure and provide entertainment value
Ø Learn to be more selfish (or self-mindful)
The Alpha Male and the Alpha Female assume the role of leader…when they walk into a room, they automatically expect others to follow out of respect
In a group, the Alpha Male and the Alpha Female enter into conversations with confidence and humor. When the confidence in a conversation is done correctly, it seems to attract the opposite sex’s attention and the same sex either respects them or will become jealous and quiet Alpha Men and Alpha Women are not being arrogant but humorous in their confidence levels.
One of the biggest traits other men and women look for is confidence. It’s something that can turn on a man or woman and allows him or her to feel that s/he can relax
An Alpha Male and an Alpha Female know what s/he wants and goes for it. They’re comfortable and take the lead when needed. They’re not afraid to be themselves and don’t fear being judged.
What are some other differences of the Alpha Male/Female and the Beta, Gamma, and Omega men and women?
ALPHA FEMALE: Never puts another woman down behind her back. She only acknowledges other women in nice ways.
Other female: Calls other women “bitches” and "sluts" and compares herself to others which backfires and makes the 'others' look more attractive.
ALPHA MALE: Waits to let a woman know he digs her and assumes that she likes him because she makes time for him.
Other male: Buys inappropriate gifts, calls/texts every day, shows that he's grateful to have the chance to be with her.
ALPHA FEMALE: Appreciates her uniqueness… she constantly takes care of herself, including her body, because she loves and respects who she is.
Other female: Asks if these jeans make her look fat..."No, sweetie, your fat makes you look fat". (If you don't like the way you look, then start working out and validate yourself.
ALPHA MALE: Doesn't pressure a woman for sex (but leads her to it)...because he knows it's gonna happen in time and anything of value is worth waiting for.
Other male: Has a 3 date rule… and misses out on the woman who would have been a "freak" for him had she only been emotionally connected.
ALPHA FEMALE: Keeps her own friendships, passion, and interests and only lets men stay in her life when they enhance it.
Other female: Gives up all outside interests and makes her man the center of her universe.
ALPHA MALE: Grabs a woman and kisses her passionately… a master of the bold move… he doesn't even wait until the end of the first date.
Other male: Asks for a kiss, gets denied, and goes home without “closing the deal.”
ALPHA FEMALE: Lets a man know that she's choosing him, then sits back and waits for him to pursue her…she's busy with other things/people in the process.
Other female: Makes herself extra-available for a guy she doesn't even know.
ALPHA MALE: Tells a woman what they're doing for the evening. He has a backup plan (just in case she's an Alpha Female who vetoes his idea).
Other male: Says "whatever you want to do"… not realizing that women generally don't like to make decisions and appreciate being told what's what.
ALPHA FEMALE: Is in control of her emotions, thinks before she acts, settles for nothing less than the best, and is completely untamable.
Other female: Lets people define her, agrees for the sake of being agreeable, sleeps with a guy to get him to like her and puts up with disrespect.
ALPHA MALE: Is brash, bold, funny, cocky and never underestimates himself.
Other male: Has part of the package, but is too shy to execute.
ALPHA FEMALE: Drips with sex appeal, and wouldn't be caught dead in hooker clothes to "catch a man" or grubby underwear "cause no one is looking".
Other female: Flaunts her sexuality…even when she's uncomfortable doing so…and wears sexy underwear to catch a "man" and not for her own enjoyment.
ALPHA MALE: Is up front with the girls he talks to…letting them know that he will only commit to the right woman…if at all.
Other male: Is more in love with happily ever after and looks for a woman to play the part of wifey.
ALPHA FEMALE: Knows that people need to hang with their friends, so she happily sends him out with the boys while she takes care of herself or kicks it with her friends. However, she will never tolerate him pursuing other women…she’ll give him one chance to explain but generally drops him immediately. She’s too self-confident to see the need to put up with a roving male. In very rare instances, when she finds the perfect Alpha Male, she will give him a second chance…after she’s had time to consider the other female may be only a Beta or Omega—women who are no real threat to her.
Other female: Throws a fit, calls him constantly, and asks him where he was and who he was with whenever he has a guy's night out…OR she whines and cries and keeps her insecurities to herself afraid of a confrontation, unwilling to lose the man. But, the lesser woman never trusts him to do what he says or to be with who he says he will be with. Betas will tolerate only to a point, then will begin their tantrums or will reply, “Nothing!” when the man asks, “What’s wrong?” Some Omegas will stalk a man if she thinks he has shown any interest in her.
This information is created from months of reading, research into various classes of the class system, interviews, and dialogues, and questionnaires completed by just under 100 people. It’s not conclusive and cannot be considered a psychological, anthropological, etc. paper of authority. Some is also the opinion of the writer.