OUCH! YOU'RE HEAD HOPPING
POV
has the power to make your story come to life or to confuse readers to the
point of tossing your book out the window…unless it’s an eBook. Then they’ll
just RETURN it and impact your sales stats.
THERE IS NOTHING PURIST ABOUT POV
There
was a time, way back when, head hopping didn’t exist. Or, at least there wasn’t
a name for it. We were educated on HOW
to be professional writers…on what was acceptable and what got our manuscript
tossed into File 13 by publishers and agents alike. Even though there wasn’t a
name for it, authors didn’t allow head hopping.
HEAD HOPPING IS
NOT A GRAMMATICAL RULE THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN; IT IS A CONVENTION THAT HAS GROWN
OVER THE YEARS.
Today's readers, all readers, are more critical and intolerant of sloppy writing. They
are investing their time and money in our stories and it’s the character’s voice they expect to hear
as clearly as their own. It’s the character’s unique view of the world that
keeps readers intrigued and persuades them to empathize. It’s the way we, as writers, masterfully conceal and reveal details that keeps the plots fresh and our
readers turning the pages.
Savvy
readers know it’s our use of narrative that determines whose viewpoint they’re
in at any given moment. The term narration was defined for us as it is applied to the
telling of action within a scene as opposed to the description of the setting
or a dialogue between characters. However, there are also perception, introspection, and
voice (i.e., the diction, style, and
attitude of the narration) of the POV to be considered. But,
those are necessary items saved for a future post.
What I really want to present
is the difference between writing separate scenes for each of our characters
and the “unmanicured”, multiple-third person POV—the narration of a scene that
switches from one character’s POV to another’s, indiscriminately shifting among
them (this is called head-hopping). The latter is where most novice writers get
confused, break POV rules, and lose their readers. And, head hopping has become a
CARDINAL SIN in the publishing industry…even in the Indie and eBook publishing
industry (because writing is still writing no matter where or how it is
published).
It’s head-hopping in multiple third-person or
limited third-person Point Of View run amok without a plan
What
is head hopping exactly? It’s a lack
of controlling the other viewpoint approaches. It's shifting from one POV to
another without any discernible reason (which, by the way, makes the narrative
chaotic…schizophrenic). It’s like being trapped on a bus with a driver who keeps
changing lanes every few seconds. It trivializes the significance of being
privy to the thought of the important characters. It confuses readers who
expect that knowing the history and inner secrets of a character signifies that
character is essential to the plot. It’s multiple third-person and limited third-person POV run amok without a plan,
a purpose, or regard for the effect on our readers.
Create each POV passage as detailed as possible
Off
the top of my head, I can think of only one book, (but, I know there are a few
others) “Under the Dome” by Stephen King, where head hopping was effective
because it was masterfully done. It was the scene of a shooting rampage that begins
with the view point of the shooter. As the reader, we’re inside the character’s
head and it’s not exactly my comfort level, nor the comfort zone of many other
readers either. The character, a young man with a brain tumor, keeps looking at
people he knows and thinking and swearing and then shooting them…dead. Just
when some readers may have gotten too comfortable in the shooter’s head, King
has a surprise for us. For one paragraph in that scene, he permits us to
experience the thoughts and feelings of one of the young man’s victims, a woman…from
the moment she sees the gun pointed at her to the point after she is shot and
fades into a nothingness of a “non-afterlife”. Then, in the next paragraph we
are back in the shooter’s head.
I think the reason this works is that King followed the rule of not beginning and ending this scene from the POV of the person getting killed (which is another no-no in writing...well, honestly, how can a person who is dead end the scene?).
So,
how do we know if there is head hopping in our MS?
Here’s
a hint to help: multiple third-person POV means we write separate scenes from
each of our character’s POV. If the scene has
to be in omniscient POV, then limit and control the perspective of, say, two
characters. Move into a character’s POV just as that character prepares to take
action. Then, once the character is performing the action, there’s no need to
be in his head. Let the readers see the action through the narration or the
dialogue.
It’s
at this point that perspective “shifts” back the omniscient and our readers are
able to get a comprehensive view of the action. This is not done willy-nilly. This
is used when a character has a unique perspective to offer. If head hopping
occurs, it makes it difficult to create a sustained plot narrative or
identifiable characters.
When head hopping happens in the middle of
continuous action, it’s a serious problem
A
second hint that can help is to create each POV passage as detailed as possible
and conclude one character’s “part” before the scene viewpoint switches to
another character. More than one version of the multiple characters’ reality is
still being created, but using this “trick” allows our readers to finish the
scene with an understanding of not only how each character’s perspective is
unique but also how it contributes meaningfully to move the overall story
forward (as in the Stephen King novel
mentioned above).
Here’s
a test to help determine if it is multiple third-person POV or head hopping
appears in your MS. Can you read people’s minds? Can they read yours? Nope.
Well, it’s the same for the characters in our stories. PROTAGONIST cannot know
what ANTAGONIST is thinking, what s/he is planning, or how s/he feels. And, it works
both ways. Choose a scene from your MS where you believe multiple-person POV is
used. Pick up your highlighter and highlight every shift where one character
knows what the other character knows, sees, hears, or feels.
Here’s
another test…one closer to home. Print out a scene. Pick up your high-lighter
and every time there is a shift in viewpoint, highlight it. Now, let’s start
with the last shift. Can you state your purpose for that shift? No? If you
cannot, then change back to the previous POV. Work backwards like this for each
shift highlighted until you get to the beginning of you scene.
One
last hint out of many I could post (but, I’ll save them for questions—if there
are any). DID YOU KNOW that the longer your story stays in one POV, the more
powerful the shift to another will be? A long passage in one POV allows your
readers to get to know your character’s experience of reality (and so do you)
and it gives the POV shift more importance because readers will know something
happened to cause the change.
Hopping distances your readers from the close
emotional connection with the central POV in the scene; it draws attention to
the fact that the writing is an artifice; and it just sounds awkward unless
masterfully pulled off.
IF
you choose to use multiple or limited third-person POV, make sure each of your characters
is different enough so readers can’t and do not confuse her/him with another
character. Okay, this last falls more under character building/development than
POV, but it is very important to remember. Each of your characters has original
and distinct traits. They all come to the readers with different backgrounds,
jobs or positions, ages, personalities, etc. Just interview them to learn how
true this is (well, interviewing your characters could be a future musing).
As a member of a professional Indie
group, Mimi Wolske evaluates books at indie writers’ requests. As a published,
international author and Indie Writer, a past ghostwriter and editor, and a speaker/trainer, she shares her information to help as many writers as she
is able to reach.
I like this article .. gave me some ideas :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Glen. :)
ReplyDelete