BREATHE, DARLING [From the Poem-like Letters I never Sent to You]

 

©BREATHE, DARLING 

[From the Poem-like Letters I Never Sent to You series]

 

Breathe, Darling.

Sigh, if you dare, with relief because I have calmed down.

I can’t seem to unlace my thoughts—
it’s as though my minds on radio silence because
the world’s frequency isn’t right for me.

I’m not quite as wicked as is said; however, I did slip on the tiled kitchen floor,
abraded my onion skin,
and ate my own wickedness.

I also ate the vigilantes of the extreme right.

It poisoned me until I was throwing up.

I felt like John.

Yes, that character in Brave New World.

Everyone said, ‘It can’t happen here’. ‘Everyone’ was wrong!

As it turned out, he was a fascist!

What was more frightening than his actions was the speed—
and eagerness—
at which a crazy-quilt of hater, fascist citizens joined him in his authoritarian crusade.

The hatred spread across Earth faster than this  pandemic!
Many of us cried.
Many of us are hiding so we can survive the madding cruelty coming with the new year.

So, do not write to me.

I mail this to you but with no return address for me.

When this end,
when you come home
if you are alive
if I am alive
don’t look for me. I will find you.

I wrote a poem for you but, well, BUG HOLES!

I found what was left of this, as other poems I’d hid in a cupboard—
yes, the cupboard in that ancient, abandoned house.

I was saving them for the right time to send to you.

TERMITES found them before I could sneak back to that house (to retrieve, and now to save).

Oh, heaven help me, I lost all those words!

I rewrote this one, added newer, fewer, and some left-over words to those eaten.

I loathe those unexplained deep sighs

that leave me feeling like a person with COPD;

but at least with that, those people feel,

which is better than the empty chest

feeling I live with since you’re gone.

Please know and believe I’m still afraid of that word. Yes, that one: goodbye. So, I won’t say it.

It may be an alteration of ‘G-d be with ye’, but it’s also a conclusion.

I don’t want us to conclude, so I’ll end with All My Love.

Until the end of time, I am always

Your Love

(unsigned)

Introductions... With a Twist

Introductions... With A Twist
By Mimi Wolske

Anyone can give a hug.

Six foot something was the anyone standing at the bottom of the escalator with something more than a welcoming smile. Arms outstretched, his feet under his broad shoulders, and...

Did he just wink?

I turned my head right, then left; no one was behind me so I turned back to acknowledge this long-legged, fit, and late thirties anyone, angled my head up to meet his eyes, and stared at him questioningly. The upward pull of his lips triggered a dimpling of his chiseled cheeks. Lord help me, he was too good looking to be real.

"Do I know you?"

I ask you, the reader, what else could I safely ask this stranger?

"Please don't tell me I've waited here for fifteen minutes and you're the wrong woman."

He smirked.

My mouth suddenly felt full of cotton balls.

"I am a woman but I've never been called the wrong woman before."

That devilish smile he donned never faded. His line of vision fell to my clumsy but dutiful shoes and slowly worked their way up to my astonished expression.

"Right! Nothing wrong with you. Detective Downy? Please tell me you're her."

"She," I said with a challenging grin. "Yes, I'm Debra Downy, detective Downy. And you are?"

That's me; Debbie Downy, five foot four inches, just turned thirty yesterday but still shy, and never prepared to deal with forward men. My head was still angled back enough to look up at mister slick.

"Relived, corrected, and very pleased to meet you."

He was just a little too pleased. I stretched both arms forward to ward off that enthusiastic hug that reached me in two long strides.

He side stepped my warning arms and my question. I asked again. "Your name?"

He took my carry-on from my relinquishing grip, disappointing me that my assumption his outstretched arms were ready to embrace me.

"Nothing near as soft and pleasant as yours. They call me Dev."

Dev? As in Devilish Handsome? Devil-May-Care attitude? "I'm absolutely sure they do, but I think I'd like your name and why you're waiting for me."

His eyelids fell and long, dark lashes kissed the ridges of those cheeks. I was lost starring at his lashes and feeling a little jealous when they lifted. His smile had disappeared.

"Detective Devlin Dixon; I've been waiting for you because you requested someone meet you at LAX."

Dev Dix. Figured I get Mr. Hunk with the suggestive name.

"Did you notice we're both double Ds?" His obvious grin told me he'd used that double D line before.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Did you notice saying all those Ds together might sound like you're stuttering, D-D-D-Dev?"

"I think we're going to get along great!" he said. "You have a quick wit and you're funny, too."

"Whoa, there, D-D-D-Dev. I'm here to work, not entertain. Your office called our office and asked for a criminal profiler; that's me. Where's your car?"

"Parked in the cool shade and awaiting you in the garage across the street."

Maybe I had gotten our introductions off to a bad start and maybe I shouldn't have judged the book by its cover. My dad always told me it was better to be safe than sorry.

Okay, so our first meeting was nothing but similes, metaphors, and cliches. It will always be the introduction I will forget.

© Your Pain Is Not My Patchwork Quilt

Never

Have I understood

The thoughts, the actions, or

The reasons it takes to hurt another

My mind does not function that way

And it shocks me to see/hear it from others

Because I do not cow to

a                           My soul and

 n                                   s

   t                                    h                      My heart, sending me swimming in

     a                                     o                                i

       g                                      c                               n

         o                                        k                               s

 n                                           i                                        u

   i                                       n                                             L           I grow stronger and

     s                                 g                                                  t                      s

  t                                                                                           s                 u

    i                                                                                                         r

      c                                                                                                   p

                                                                                                        r

       a                                                                                             i

           t                                                                                       g

             t                                                                                   l

               a                                                                              y

                  c

                     k                                                                                      d

                       s                                                                                  a

                                                                                                       n

                           o                                                                     g

                             n                                                                 e

                                                                                              r

                                                                                           o

                                                                                         u

                                                                                       s

Defending

The underdog

As well as standing up

To the bully and fighting back

Is my forte and it make my hair

                                          C

                                              U

                                                  R

                                               L

                                                  I

                                              E

                                           R

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Mimi Wolske

(pic: Wall Hangings inspired by Picasso's Martini Woman)

Portrait Paintings Using Two Different Techniques of Painting & Glazing

I do not glaze every painting.

It has never been because I'm too lazy. Although, patience is mandatory since the process can take months, maybe even a year, before it is complete and on a drying easel.

No, the reason for not color glazing every painting is simple. 

I only learned the technique about ten years back and since then, have been too timid, afraid I would botch it and ruin a painting that might have been wonderful without the glazing technique.

My first attempt, on my own without an instructor's input and encouragement, didn't turn out as I expected and not how I hoped.

It was also an experiment with BLUE as the main hue, with burnt umber and white as the helpers.

I followed the gestural brushstrokes techniques seen in paintings by Valequez and Sargent; then I ruined it with the second glazing application. 

How? Instead of applying the glazes with the same gestural brushwork and building up the darker hues and lighter tints with a thicker and thicker application of paint to medium, I blended. 

As soon as I stood back and saw what I'd done with the second glaze, my heart slowed and I let out an audible sigh.

But, I persevered until I deemed the painting finished. Below is a detail from the oil painting completed in 2006. 

"Winter" is copyrighted and ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED. No reproductions or copies may be made for any reason until I am contacted.

To make a long story short, my current glazing project is called "Blonde Against A Red Wall".

It's a self-portrait I began early in 2016 with drawings and a couple of attempts to put it to canvas. But, unsatisfied with my attempts, I decided to play around on multimedia paper to see if I could ever be satisfied the the color glazing process on my own. The third attempt (below) was done about July 2016.


I sketched it in with oils and added an underpainting of grays. The first glazing over the gray values was done by adding a tint to the skin. an underpainting of grays. I added in a pinkish red I sketched it in with oils and added Blonde Against A Red Wall, the first glazing over the black, gray values painted for the skin was added; the hair has been added/painted.

(the following examples are copyrighted and ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED. No reproductions or copies are permitted for any reason until I am contacted.)

It took about 3 1/2 weeks for the painting to dry enough to add the third color glazing to the blouse (remember it was pink...I'm glazing it to become violet). It is the end of the 1st week of August and, hopefully, I can begin to add a darker still glaze to the yellowish skin and a deeper color glaze to the lips.

Yesterday, Aug 29th, I detailed to eyes. A little spill over but that can be fixed; eyebrow over left eye is true, there really is a gap. This is only the under color of the eyebrow; the blue-black will diminish with the addition of true color. Added the first color glazing to the lips -- a little different now from the skin.

Note: I haven't mentioned the hair. I've decided, for textural purposes, the hair will not be glazed, only painted.

Sept 13th, the lips and skin are still tacky to the touch, so I turned the painting upside down to work on it.

I have decided light source will come from the front of the figure.

Added darker color glazes over all the skin.

Next, when the painting is dry enough to work with, I will begin adding "tones" -- light, mid-, and dark -- to create shadows and hilites; which could be a little tricky and I will probably need to take some creative license in creating these since the light source is in front of the figure. One thing I think I can see is that the figure is looking not just ahead...could present some interesting shadowing under the face? Hmmm...

Need more work on eyes.

Need lots of work on the nose and the mouth; need to tone DOWN those teeth again.

Will be adding in the earring on figure's right ear.

Will be adding lighter glazing over the lavender blouse.

November 6, 2016
added two more glazes to the painting since the last time I shared. This one is definitely showing more depth. Sept 2017 update.

I still have a few more glazing steps to add.

I'll try to find the "last post of this painting process" and post in the "comments" section below.

I made a couple of "boo-boos" on the red background, but I'll wait until the last glazing is done before I go over the background one last time.

Just as a silly but true observation -- the camera really does add weight to the subject. When I look at the painting, I look more like myself at that time.

(Note to brain: when doing portraits, make individuals thinner than you think! They will appreciate the compliment.)

Around Nov 27, added another glazing for more depth; thinking/hoping 1 or 2 more and this one will be done.

In the meantime, I've begun another portrait.

In early December 2017, I began a sketch that I spent a day working on and studying and feeling like something wasn't quite right. But, I went ahead at did an oil-wash sketch on the paper I will use for the painting.

Seeing it was the angle of the eyes and nose that were off, on 12-17, I changed them both with a neutral wash-sketch,

Painted in the background, and added a couple blue undertones for painting but there's still something that isn't quite right.

So, by 12-27, I trashed my second attempt and began again.

A total REDO was called for; so, an Impressionistic portrait of my beautiful, oldest daughter was begun a third time.

Oil on 11- × 14-inch, 98-pound, multimedia paper, and hoping to keep visible my gestural brushstrokes. We'll see how that works out.

Jan 1, 2018

Painted in the background and added a 2d, thicker paint/color glaze to the hair (using Valesquez' and Sargent's technique).

Lost her cheek definition, but it is easily brought back when I begin laying in the layers of paint/glaze to the face.

I decided for this painting, there will be no glazing to the background, the blue around her head and the reddish color that will eventually show below the definition of her blouse.

On Jan 7, 2018, I added another glaze to the lips for the painting A Blonde Against A Red Wall and was interrupted. It is nearly complete. Sorry, no photo of it at this time.

Now I have two glazing projects and that leaves me with only my table easel to play around with smaller paintings.

Whether you prefer the blending method of the hues so that the gestural brushwork is practically nonexistent (as I accidentally did with Blonde Against A Red Wall) or you prefer the thicker buildup of paint/glazes and brushwork (as I will try to strictly adhere to in the painting of my daughter) is a personal decision.

Neither choice is right or wrong; it's only each person's preference for a particular style. Valequez and Sargent preferred to express their works using their expertise as artists with a gestural style while Bouguereau's work was smooth and luminous, a buildup of thin layers over a "grisaille" underpainting.

The foundations for these three painters' works stem from the same classical training, so their paintings often times start the same. The academic teaching at the French Academy was studied by both Sargent and Bouguereau, but the surface quality of their finished portraits is different (see examples of each artist's portraits at the end).

Now that I have accidentally stepped into both styles, I'm truly hoping you will be able to see the difference in the two finished portraits I'm working on as easily as you might see between Bouguereau's portrait at Sargent's.

 

Above portraits: Bouguereau's La Bouquetiere and Sargent's Francisco Bernareggi

(the works of both artists are in the public domain)

"Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death!"

There is no liberty
if the powers of our judiciary, legislative, and executive branches of government
 are not separate. 

We, each and every American, learned this in elementary school history. It was taught, emphasized, and re-emphasized every year of our education. That is how important it is for us to understand why the Revolutionary war was fought and why each war after that was fought.

For Our Freedoms...Our Liberty! That Lady who stands faithfully as our Statue of Liberty on Liberty Island in New York Harbor in New York City, in the United States is there for us and for all people who desire freedom and liberty from dictators and monarchies. She represents the best of what we have become, of what our values truly are, and of what we desire to represent us for as long as any free woman or man breathes.

Each branch of our Republic acts as a check and balance on the others. No one branch has total power. We cannot let that change at the whim of a few.

Our forefathers fought for our freedom and liberty and our constitutional government believing Patrick Henry that the alternative to fighting was slavery (the meaning then was the slavery of British rule).

"Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace. But there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" said Patrick Henry.

We have come to a time in our history where we find it necessary to fight for our freedom again. There is no division of classes, of race, of religion, that can thwart our desire to fight for what we want and that is the same as our forefathers wanted for themselves and their posterity. Unwilling to give up our liberty without raising a war against our own executive and legislative branches of government who dare to abolish them and then tax us for what we no longer possess, we need to stand together, as Americans, and shout “NO!”

We cannot, after all these generations, let ONE MAN threaten our democracy and rip apart our Republic! Yes, we are again on the verge of the insanity of one man bullying a select few in government to seize control of the power of all three branches of our government and cast aside the freedoms and liberties of all Americans except the rich who feel entitled.

Where are our representatives with political morals and ethics who swore an oath to protect America from all enemies foreign and domestic? Why do they cower and ignore their oath of allegiance to America? Why do they support one man who would try to take over the control of our country?

I believe taxing the middle and lower classes to support and give more money to the wealthy upper class is a convoluted act similar to the British Parliament Stamp Act of 1765 when American colonies were expected to pay for the debts that were contracted in the French and Indian war. The question is, does the Trump/GOP Tax bill violate American rights?

The greed and lies strip Americans to leave us weak and unprotected, but it goes further. It now begins to strip our individual states of their power as well. It begins to redistrict voting districts to ensure no matter how the Americans vote, there is only one sure winner and that will be the person who is in power now, the legislative party who is in power now.

American citizens are being stripped of everything and are being set back to the early 1700s with no money, no power, and now no representative or leader with the power to return our freedoms and liberties to us.

We are not infants. We have the power to get these usurpers out of government. We have the power of the entire nation of a united people to throw them out, every single one of them from the highest office to every chair in the legislative branch if none of them dares to stand with us and against those who would try to overthrow our government.

I am but one small voice with no power on my own. BUT, I willingly stand with all of my brothers and sisters who want America back. I stand with Patrick Henry and I repeat/paraphrase his words:

“Gentlemen (Mr. President and members of the GOP) may cry, Peace, Peace! But there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps … will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren (and our sisters) are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What (more) is it that (these overthrowers of our government) wish? What (more) would they have (American citizens stand like sheep while all is taken away)? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery (the very chains and slavery our country has fought against)? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me (us back our) liberty or give me death!”

Softening Like Chocolate In Sunlight -- an erotic poem by Mona Arizona

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate

Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, which is a naturally occurring substance and mood booster.

Ancient Aztecs strongly believed in its aphrodisiac power.

The Mayans enjoyed chocolate drinks from vessels like the one below. The vessel photographed and used here was found in Guatemala at the Altar de Sacrificios.

©Softening Like Chocolate In Sunlight

Drink me

Let loose your

Wolf calls, those

Near-anesthetic words that

Burn in the quiet

Midnight air

That whisper in my ear

You Are Mine

And brand my neck with your bite

On the edges of a

Baccarat vodka tumbler

Cliché delicate pink lip-prints sit

Patiently

Impatiently

I stand

Waiting in stone-washed denim

Anticipating the aroma of

You

Your shirt

Your mint-coated pockets

I am like a teen again

An ingénue with a woman’s knowledge

Venus folds in pink on a bare canvas

Leda welcoming Zeus as swan

Molten lava-lust awakens

Muffled elation

Expectation

Understanding you will

Loosen your best talent

Yes

Be a biro

Write all over me

Swollen lips engage

Feral aromas wreathe

Bodies dance like waves

Unchoreograhped

My mantra begins

Repeats

Pleads

Surrender

From the burgeoning

Garden of delight

Unable to quell any

Internal breakdown

As your eyes watch

Study

Scrutinize

Every agitated alteration

My body labors wantonly

Your rapid heavy breaths

Excite

Reveal

Your desire formicates

Tingling nerve endings

Like tiny bugs under your skin

Concurrently my world

Turns on its axis, collapses

And we are thrust into the

Waiting abyss together

Mona Arizona

All Rights Reserved

Shackled

© Shackled

It happened the same way
That a sudden curve in the road
Sends you down the wrong path,
A path full of secrets never shared.

It was never something planned.
Pinwheels spun, aroused by a cloud’s
Summer breath; then one became many
Clouds casting shadows full of doubt.

It came at you from nowhere,
From a place where life does not exist,
Released from a prison to let dreams live
While decomposed vines clung to each other.

It no longer haunted your mirrors
Nor searched for approval
The way ink floods pages as
Wretched shadows performed inside of books.

It snatched your existence; It dragged you
Into a foreign world, one without
Wonder and color and thought where
Death, for It was Death, held the key.

Mimi Wolske
All Rights Reserved
(painting: The Field Of The Slain by Evelyn De Morgan, 1916)

One Last Smoke

I was working on a scene where love had gone south, but it is the male character who is sad. Sadness is a strong emotion and I couldn't let the scene go with only the words: "She left him without a note or a goodbye". I want the reader to feel his shock, his pain, his hurt. This poem was written over a couple of days and I switched the characters around and it is the man who has walked away. This is not close to what I wrote in my WIP. It is a poem. It is shortened and, therefore, each word counts. 

© One Last Smoke

Standing in this river outside your hotel

Wondering where you are since you told me farewell;

I’ve been wishing on a star, hanging onto Jack Daniels—

He’s soothing my broken heart, stroking the shrapnel.

God’s sitting on his mountain having one last smoke,

Satan’s here beside me laughing at some joke.

I…I wish I could look into your eyes,

Know everything will be the way it should;

If you looked at me without turning away,

You…you would see tears welling in my eyes

While I make promises to God that I will be good

If He’ll just bring you back and have you stay.

And Hell’s not heaven, and I’m dying of heatstroke;

Satan’s still laughing so it must be a good joke.

Before I throw out the empty and tear up your clothes,

I’m leaving these photos…I’m not the one you chose.

Will you remember us and getting sick on avocados

Will you remember me and all my goofy fiascos?

I never told you but you’re the love of my life;

I only wish I’d never laughed when you wanted me for your wife—

I wish I hadn’t laughed and caused you such strife;

I wish I hadn’t laughed and let my words run rife.

God’s sitting on his mountain having one last smoke,

Satan’s here beside me laughing at some joke.

I…I wish I could look into your eyes,

Know everything will be the way it should;

If you looked at me without turning away,

You…you would see tears welling in my eyes

While I make promises to God that I will be good

If He’ll just bring you back and have you stay.

And Hell’s not heaven, and I’m dying of heatstroke;

Satan’s still laughing so it must be a good joke.

Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved

(Painting: DarkWaters by Julio Reyes)

Standing Alone Asking One Question

© Standing Alone Asking One Question

The pole is secured to the tree; or, is it the other way around?

Or, does it matter since they are both vertical?

There is a position THEY can agree on.

The THEY, which are humans, will soon decide to take the tree, or the pole, and advance in slow degrees to their present position.

That says it all.

Life is a circle.

You’re going nowhere fast.

You can’t get there from here.

Blessed are THEY who go in circles…THEY shall be known as unidirectional “big wheels” taking the world by the tail.

I seem to be standing alone and asking one question; can you tell me where the world’s tail is located?

Mimi Wolske

All Right’s Reserved

Viscid Thoughts of Loss

© Viscid Thoughts of Loss

The bitcoins fly, the guys are high

I’ll wager you’re here to procure

If you think you will win tonight

Know you are not the man to beat

Mascara streaking down your cheeks

Because you lost love’s lottery

For you, darkness comes all too soon

The road ends before you can see

When Eden becomes decimated

The bubble will pop around their world

How will existence continue when

No one hears viscid thoughts of loss

Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved

(painting: Loss of Virginity or Girl with a Fox, 1890-91, Paul Gauguin)

VIP 001

© VIP 001

I’m an old soul in a new moon,

educated by good ol’ boys

wearing their blue suits, under the

thickness of a reflected gray

sky and the eddying shocks of stirred

water and whirling moonlight. Beating

down my baffled soul, they left me

climbing back up from a sunken

path only to see them riding

like aristocrats in sedans,

sedans permitted only to

the most privileged of humans.

Where is the hiccup for this man’s

misfortune? Where is that pretty

penny? That swagger of ego?

Don’t hand me a suit of blue and

Cloak me eternally in your

emotional, egoless guilt.

I possess the resources you

married to intent; your prison

psychosis is not my whole world.

Selective amnesia of your

past is not my disease. Release

me from your tango in the grass;

I am an old soul in a new moon.

Mimi Wolske

All Rights Reserved